Artist Spotlight with Tit for Tat Circus

12 December 2024

Tit for Tat is a Circus Theatre company that believes in celebrating the ordinary. We take ordinary objects, objectives, stories and scenes, and we explore every nook and cranny until we make them extra-ordinary. We believe in finding the most exciting and, more often than not, the most difficult way of getting from A to B. Especially when undertaking simple everyday tasks.

We’ve previously made duo and ensemble shows, such as “The Most Dangerous Cup Of Tea In The World” (2014) and “Books!” (2020), but this project, through Without Walls, “Now I Am Become d/Deaf Destroyer of Words”, is a very special creation to me for two reasons. Firstly, it is of course about my hearing loss, and it’s new for me to be making work that examines that. Secondly, it’s the first time since circus-school I have made a solo piece of work! Which I found to be both very exciting and more than a little daunting, but I’m very happy with how it all turned out.

I have always felt caught between hearing society and the world of the Deaf, without really belonging to either. Both my sister and I were born with severe-to-profound degenerative deafness, and we didn’t have access to BSL or a window into Deaf Culture growing up. I am losing the ability to socialise and communicate in one world (which I actually have mixed feelings about, which are hard to articulate) and I struggle to access learning the language of another. But at the end of the day, my hearing loss has very much shaped me into who I am. It’s a part of me. It has influenced every action, thought, fear, reflection and desire I’ve ever had.

“The show doesn’t tell my story in an obvious linear way, but instead shares and celebrates who I am as a person. Through live games, physical comedy, juggling and teetering balancing acts.”

I didn’t want to “spell it out”. Instead I wanted to create an environment where I could celebrate parts of my identity without limitation, through sincere connections with audiences. The whole show boils down to my clown character simply wanting to say “Hello! This is me. Am I heard? Am I seen?”

I’ve been practising Clown for over 10 years, and it taps into a primal and honest part of myself that feels very liberating. Clowning is all about honesty, letting down your guard, and embracing sincerity – even when things go wrong. So it helped me to avoid getting trapped in logic, and in creating an honest reflection of who and how I am – which, in its own way, rarely gets a chance to speak!

I love physical theatre and circus because they are visual artforms that don’t require words but still speak volumes. And I love working in the outdoor arts because it creates less barriers in accessing entertainment. By bringing the work directly to local streets and public spaces, it is on the doorstep of the people. Not car rides away. Not time-off-work distances away. Not expensive ticketed venues-away. It’s right there, with an open invitation. It gets artists meeting audiences and audiences meeting artists with real feedback and honest responses to the work.

“After all, art is an exchange. It’s not just me! You’re all there too! We celebrate something together, and together it becomes something special. It’s a relationship between the performer and the audience.”

And, as simple as it sounds, that’s what I want to achieve with the show. A sincere connection shared with audiences, through laughter and entertainment, with my hearing loss as some part of me to celebrate.

Large parts of my identity are both in the world of the hearing and the deaf, and a larger part sits between them. Over creation, I was worried about how the piece could be perceived, but I have to remind myself I am not speaking for other people (well, I’m not speaking at all, but you know what I mean!). I’m just sharing who I am. And “who I am” has been moulded by my progressive deafness.

I have used the momentum behind the show to work on my BSL again, and it has been so rewarding to have signed conversations with deaf audience members and to also connect with hard of hearing people who can relate to my experiences. The hearing world can feel like a jigsaw of fading sounds, muffled speech, shifting lip patterns, reading body language, constant tinnitus, distracting vibrations, listening fatigue, and overwhelmingly noisy environments. But on stage, in this show, I felt in my own element. And that has been a truly rewarding feeling.